Final Paper
Abstract
Over the past couple decades interracial relationships have been becoming more and more common, but yet people feel they have the right to judge them. In this paper I look at the judgments and the challenges that interracial couple’s face and how they go about overcoming those challenges. A survey was conducted asking students from Indiana University of Pennsylvania their thoughts and opinions are the subject matter. The outcome of the research has shown that today’s younger generation is more open to interracial relationships compared to older generations.
Bringing a date home for the first time to meet your parents or your friends is already very nerve-racking. Thoughts are constantly running through your head. Are they going to approve of him or her? Are they going to like him or her? Will they get along? Everyone knows the feeling and it is not a fun feeling to have. Now imagine those feelings and multiply them by ten. This is what you might feel if you bring home someone who is of another race to meet your parents or friends for the first time. Forget the fact that your parents might judge him because he is wearing jeans instead of khakis, or your mom thinks her skirt should be a few inches longer. You might have to worry about your friends judging them just because they go to a different school or hang out with a different crowd. Many people in interracial relationships go through these challenges on a daily bases. Not only do they have to worry about their family and friends judging them, but also complete strangers. More and more people are becoming involved in interracial relationships, but the taboo that went along with them years ago still exists today.
This topic happens to play a big part in my life. Right now I am involved in an interracial relationship, my boyfriend is Indian and I am Caucasian. I am a 20 year old college student. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half now. He is also 20 years old and is in the United States Marine Corps. Being in a relationship is hard enough already, and then add to the fact that not only are we in a long distance relationship but also in an interracial relationship. When we first got together I did not really think anything of it. It was not until he met my parents for the first time that it dawned on me and I wondered if they were going to have a problem with him being of another race. Luckily my parents are very supportive and caring, and it did not even faze them. As long I was happy they were happy too.
When I came out to school I was worried about what people would say when they found out I was in an interracial relationship. I figured that since everything went so well back home with my family and friends that my luck is going to have to run out eventually. As I started to meet people and get to know them better, they got to know me and found out that I was in an interracial relationship I noticed that once again I got lucky. No one seemed to really care about the fact that I was in an interracial relationship.
Studies have shown that “today’s younger generation is more open to interracial relationships than the older generations are,” (Firebaugh, 2008). A recent study was done at a prominent University on interracial dating. Six-hundred-twenty students were asked to fill out an anonymous questionnaire “to assess their attitudes towards interracial dating,” (Buffington, 2000). Out of those six-hundred-twenty students “almost one-fourth of them said that they have been involved in an interracial relationship and half of them said they were open to becoming involved in an interracial relationship,” (Buffington, 2000).
If more and more people are open to being in interracial relationships, than why is there still a stigma attached to them? In this paper, I want to look at why people feel it is their job to judge people who are involved in interracial relationships. I also want to explore the challenges of what people go through in interracial relationships and how they deal with the clashes of culture and religion. I also want to explore how lifestyles, family opinions and marriage can affect the relationship. In this day and age you would think that interracial relationships would be accepted without a second glance; however, this is not true. It is true that interracial relationships are accepted more by people these days than they used to be. However, there are still people who disagree with them.
Many Southern college campuses are still struggling to accept such relationships. In fact “up until about three decades ago interracial relationships were outlawed,” (Firebaugh, 2008). Since then interracial relationships have made big strides in becoming more accepted. A study done in 1998 showed that “interracial marriages have increased from 51,000 in the 1960’s to 330,000 and the number is continuing to grow every year,” (Firebaugh, 2008). Researchers believe that the rise in acceptance for interracial relationships is due to the “openness of the younger generation compared to the older generations,” (Firebaugh, 2008).
Even though younger generations are more open to interracial relationships research has showed that their family and friends still play a big role on the decisions they make in their life. Firebaugh (2008) wrote that, “children look to their parents and family for guidance and those that rely heavily on them to make decision are less likely to be involved in something that they disapprove of”. Even if the couple has their family and friends’ blessing, this does not mean that things will get easier for them. They still have to deal with the ridicule and judgments from complete strangers.
People who are involved in interracial relationships are going against the “norm,” which would be dating someone who is of the same race as you are. Since there are so many pressures and judgments put on interracial relationships, researchers have found that “the divorce rate of an interracial couple who has been married for ten years is at 41% compared to the 31% for a non-interracial couple,” (Bratter, 2008).
Interracial couples have an added pressure put on them due to the judgments from other people. According to Foeman and Nance (2002), “it is important for an interracial couple to have four basic methods in their relationship in order for it to have a fighting chance”. These four methods include “racial awareness, coping, identity emergence and maintenance,” (Foeman, 2000). The first method involves the couple being aware that they are attracted to someone. This normally occurs with the “couple’s initial attraction and can quickly bring about sensitivity to each partner’s racial “place” (status),” (Foeman, 2000).
The second method is coping. This is the stage where the couple has to learn to “pull” together and “integrate” and form a relationship together. Since interracial couples do face many judgments from the outside world it does force them to communicate and talk about issues and it can ultimately make them stronger as a couple. “Couples indicate that they learn to insulate when possible from people and situations that are potentially harmful or to negotiate potentially threatening situations as necessary. They also learn to turn to each other for new perspectives,” (Foeman, 2000).
The third method is identity emergence. Identity emergence is when “as a couple they start to develop behaviors that are self-sustaining,” (Foeman, 2000). They begin to look at the “uniqueness” of their relationship as a plus instead of looking at all the negatives. In this stage the couples realize that it does not matter what other people have to say about their relationship. If the couple is okay with their interracial relationship than that is the only opinion that should matter.
The fourth method is maintenance. In this step the couples continue to work on their relationship. Using each other as a backbone to stand up against the negative opinions of some people. Working on their relationship and building a strong foundation so they can continue to grow together.
Interracial couples also have to learn how to deal with the cultural differences that exist between them. As a couple they have “to learn how to appreciate these differences and turn them into strength’s,” (Bischoff, 2005). Interracial couples face many judgments from other people. The last thing they need is for their partner not to be understanding of their cultures. Take some time to get to know what their culture is about.
After reading through many studies and surveys done about my topic I decided the best way for me to conduct research on my own would be to do a survey. The survey contains ten questions with a mixture of short answers and multiple choice questions. The questions have to do with how the participants feel about interracial dating, whether they would ever be in an interracial relationship, if they condone interracial dating and would they be accepting if one of their relatives or friends was involved in an interracial relationship.
I made up a survey online and asked my English class to participate in the survey. It is completely anonymous and if at any time the subject does not feel comfortable or does not want to turn in the survey they do not have to. The subjects for the survey are primarily made up of IUP students.
I feel the anonymous survey is the best way to gather information for my paper. I feel this is true because by taking an anonymous survey people will be comfortable in answering the questions honestly. I feel that if I asked people the questions in person or even in an interview setting that they will not be honest with me. I feel like they will feel uncomfortable and possibly be worried that they are being judged for their answers.
After posting my survey and going through the comments, I am very happy with my results. Reading people’s opinions on interracial dating has opened my eyes to how people today people are becoming more and more accepting of them. My final survey consisted of a mixture of ten multiple choice and open ended questions. They consisted of some background questions like the participants age, race and gender, but also ones ranging from their opinions on interracial dating to if they would they ever be involved in an interracial relationship.
Fourteen people participated in m survey that I had posted on SurveyMonkey.com. Out of those fourteen participants eight were female and five were male and one chose to omit from answering the question. Ten of the participants were Caucasian, one was African American, one was East Asian and two people did not answer the question. The majority of the participants were in the age range from 18-20 years old, two were in the age range from 21-23 years old and one decided to not answer.
One of the questions I asked in my survey was: “what are your opinions of interracial relationships.” I was surprised to find out that all of the answers were positive ones. Most people said that you cannot help who you love as long as you are happy, and that should be the only thing that matters. Other people said that they were okay with them and some people just stated that interracial relationships do not bother them.
The second question that I asked was a multiple choice question asking the participants if “they would ever be involved in an interracial relationship.” Five people answered yes that they would be involved in an interracial relationship. One person selected no they would not be involved in an interracial relationship and seven people selected that they were neutral, that they did not care either way.
The third question asked why they chose the answer from the previous questions. Many people said that they would not have a problem being involved in an interracial relationship as long as they felt strongly about the person. Some other people said that they are not sure if they would ever be involved in an interracial relationship, but they are keeping their options open. Someone wrote that “[they] have seen interracial relationships work, but [they] have never had a strong personal connection to anyone of a differing race since people of the same race tend to stick together, especially in diverse college settings.” There were three people to skip this question.
Question number four and five dealt with whether their friends and family would support them if they were involved in an interracial relationship. Seven people said that their family would support them. They said that their family just wants to see them happy and that is all that matters. One person said their family would not support them, “no if ands or buts about it.” However five people said that they were not sure what their parents would do. One person said that their family might support them, but they were not sure because they grew up in a small predominately white community. One person decided not to answer the question. As far as friends supporting them if they were in an interracial relationship ten people said that yes, their friends would support them and back them up. Two people said that they were not sure how their friends would react. One person went on to say that they feel their friends at college would be more supportive of their decision, than their friends at home. Two people did not answer the question.
The sixth question that I asked was a yes/no question. I asked the participants if they know someone who has ever been involved in an interracial relationship. Thirteen of the people that answered the question answered yes, that they did or do know someone who has been in an interracial relationship. The final question I asked the participants was if they felt the “stigma” towards interracial couples has changed in the past ten years. Ten people answered yes, that they do believe the “stigma” towards interracial couples has changed. One person answered no, that they do not think it has changed. Two people selected the answer no comment, and one person skipped the question.
After looking through the survey and reading all the participants answer’s I have to say I am surprised by the positive outcome from it. I was expecting to have more negative comments towards interracial dating than what I got. Two of the questions that had me the most shocked with their outcome was the one about how the participant’s families would feel and the one where I asked if anyone knows someone who is involved or has been involved in an interracial relationship. I was quite surprised that mostly everyone’s parents would be open and supportive to their child being involved in an interracial relationship. I was also surprised that out of the thirteen people that had answered the final question on whether they have ever known someone who has been in an interracial relationship all answered yes. I was expecting to get a few yes’ but not all. It has just come to show that interracial couples are becoming more and more a part of the “norm”.
Some limitations that I think affected the outcome of my research was I did not get as many participants to take my survey as I would have liked. I ideally would have liked to have more participant’s involved so I could get more opinions about the topic. Another limitation that I feel affected my research was the time limit. If I had more time to conduct my survey than I could have gotten more people to participate other than the people in my English class.
After doing this project I have learned so much about interracial relationships and peoples’ perceptions about them. I feel that I am now more comfortable when telling people that I am in an interracial relationship because even though they might judge me I know that it is what makes me happy that matter, not what other people think. I believe that in the years to come interracial relationship will become even more accepted than they ever have been before. I really believe that the younger generations is the reason why this change is coming about. They are more accepting of things that are different from the “norm”. They are more open to new things.
Reference Page
Bischoff, R.J. (2005). Inter-culture and inter-racial relationships: the implications of the research on practice. Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, 4(4), Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=12&hid=3&sid=29cfa715-5839-4c31-9521-86bcb275e03d%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=20218590 doi: 10.1300/J398v04n0405
Buffington, C., Hemphill, G., Knox, D., & Zusman, M.E. (2000). Interracial dating attitudes among college students. College Student Journal, 34(1), Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=5&hid=3&sid=29cfa715-5839-4c31-9521-86bcb275e03d%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=3024748
Bratter, J.L., & King, R.L. (2008). “but will it last”: marital instability among interracial and same-race couples. Family Relations, 57(2), Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=11&hid=3&sid=29cfa715-5839-4c31-9521-86bcb275e03d%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=31481625 doi: 10.1111/j.1741-3729.2008.00491.x
Firebaugh, S., & Firmin, M.W. (2008). Historical analysis of college campus interracial dating. College Student Journal, 42(3), Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=1&hid=3&sid=7dedcf12-0492-4137-a23b-03aa60101768%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=34262666
Foeman, A., & Nance, T. (2002). Building new cultures, reframing old images: success stratgies of interracial couples. Howard Journal of Communications, 13(3), Retrieved from http://web.ebscohost.com/ehost/detail?vid=10&hid=3&sid=29cfa715-5839-4c31-9521-86bcb275e03d%40sessionmgr4&bdata=JnNpdGU9ZWhvc3QtbGl2ZQ%3d%3d#db=a9h&AN=7494361#db=a9h&AN=7494361 doi: 10.1080/10646170290109716
